Missed Appointment Form Response

Dear______________________,

you have missed your scheduled job development appointments on ____, _____, _____, _____, _____, _____, _____, _____, _____, _____, _____, _____, and _____. Showing up to appointments is a very important skill that employers use to accurately assess reliability, functionality and good character. It was hoped that being offered some flexibility would encourage your ability to come to appointments. Remember: showing up is half the battle!

Please understand that I sympathize with the fact that (circle all that apply) you were:

stoned/ unable to make appointment
emergency colorectal exam/ unable to make appointment
taking care of friend's sister's sick baby/ unable to make appointment
woman who lives downstairs using my phone for phone sex/ unable to make appointment
able to make appointment/ blew off appointment
thought appointment was for different day/ unable to make appointment
lying about lack of alcohol problem/ unable to make appointment
making eyes at the ladies/ unable to make appointment
realized you could not get me a job and work it for me/ blew off appointment
meow just a kitty/ meow no have appointment
prefer to be exploited by a manager who pays me small bits of cash to work ten hour days/ unable to make appointment
too frightened to admit I wasn't ready to find a job/ unable to make appointment
appointment? Oh? Say?/ unable to make appointment

...however, your lack of progress in the area of____appointment____indicates that you are not presently ready for obtain sucessful employment outcomes. Thus I regret to inform you that your job development services (including those services which are currently shed-yuled) are hereby and henceforward, terminated until further notice. Please contact me if you have any questions or wish to appeal this decision.

________________________, you have many strengths, such as (circle all that apply)

well defined pimp strut/ no felony background/ flexible demands/ english language proficiency level_____/ family cares/ meow cuddly/ are a whole person/ work well with hands/ groovy sense of timing/ winning smile/ get along well with others: no fighting or biting/ chick magnet hair/ know where kicksville is/ know how to get there/ less than four babies confirmed via paternity test as yours/ attitude is acceptable when not hallucinating/ no active delusions in over four days/ other talents and abilities: not otherwise specified

...and it is my hope that these strengths will serve you well in all future endeavors. God save job development and God save the Queen

Yours indefinately,


______________________, Job Developer