Dear Loser Cop Buddies of My Client,
my client has a traumatic brain injury. He was just offered a job at Target last week. He blurted out "I can't move my hand I'm crippled!" the second they offered him a job. The job offer was withdrawn quicker than an unwrapped cock from a two-minute whore.
"But you can move your hand, right?" I said to him.
"Oh yeah, sure I can but I wasn't sure if I should say I could or not. Maybe I should...shouldn't...should...should...'nt. Oh man. I don't know."
"Well, if you can move your hand--"
"--Oh yeah! Plus I had a little weed with my cop buddies last weekend. That was a week ago. One of them's a DARE officer. It was just a little weed. Just, you know a drag or a joint or two. I probably wouldn't pass the weed test they give out. You know?"
"Which was it, a drag or two joints?"
"Yeah. That one. I mean, its no big deal right? I mean, cops do it and doctors and lawyers. If they can do it...Do you think I'd pass that urine test. Can you call and ask for me?"
"Right, but the thing is, see--"
"--I mean, and its from 2-10 pm, the shift you know and anyways I don't know how my dog can be alone that long. I mean, thats a long time. Shit! I just want to have a simple little job where I can party and have something to do. The only one I talk to is my dog and he's not even a girl and I just want to work so I can see girls and watch them and get a job and party so I can get a girl to take care of me and my dog for a little while until I'm a CEO again and everybody is happy to see me when I get off the jet airplane to go check on how they're doing and then I'll cut my hair and wear a suit. Okay?"
On behalf of your brain injured, job seeking friend I humbly request that you refrain from offering my client your drugs at least until he gets a job. Unfortunately, while DARE officers can smoke all the dope they want in their spare time (or while on duty) without negative societal reprocussions, people with brain injuries whose ambition is to work at Target cannot.
I kindly thank you for your understanding in this matter.
JMT, Job Developer and Placement Coordinator.
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