Yup. I'm a penis alright, a really thick penis on four legs. This SO SUCKS!

Yup. I'm a penis alright, a really thick penis on four legs. This SO SUCKS!, originally uploaded by teerlinck.

Functional limitation/ barrier to employment: Check All That Apply. A minimum of three are required.

___#1 MOBILITY. A serious limitation in the ability to move about from place to place without accomodations due to physical or psychological impairment.

Individual is not ambulatory at this time due to the fact that individual is a penis shaped sculpture on four legs that lack normal knee development and feet are bolted into cement pilings.

___#2 SELF-DIRECTION. A serious limitation in the ability to independently plan, initiate, problem-solve, organize or carry out work-related or training related activities.

Individual is unable to plan ahead, organize or carry out any meaningful activity that is not related to being a penis shaped sculpture.

___#3 SELF-CARE. Individual is dependent upon other people, a service, or a device, to manage eating, toileting, grooming, dressing, money management, health or safety, to participate in training or work activities.

Individual is a penis shaped sculpture, and is unable to groom, toilet or manage money without total reliance on non-penis shaped sculptured individuals and/ or community resources for assistance.

___#4 WORK SKILLS. Serious limitation in the ability to perform specific tasks, or in the capacity to benefit from training required to carry out job functions.

Indiviudual is a penis shaped sculpture. Individual lacks fully formed appendages in order to manipulate objects. Individual not trainable.

THREE SUPER FRIENDS OF SOCIAL SERVICES: CAPTAIN ANXIETY, THE EMBRACER AND THE VALIDATOR

Able to chill out an angry consumer without uttering a word, able to relax comfortably in a single bound, able to lift ten tons of paranoia and crush it with his tiny, sensitive man hands, able to chew off his fingernails in two minutes only to have them regrow in two seconds, able to find his purpose, then question it, then find it once again...only to question it, he is...CAPTAIN ANXIETY!!

Longing to be touched? Feeling deserving yet desolate? Call upon THE EMBRACER! when an emergency hug is required.

Feeling...low? Don't know what to...do? Creating problems for yourself by overusing...elipses to create a false sense of dramatic tension!?! Then call upon THE VALIDATOR. abd she will stroke your ego until it can stand up on its own wobbly little legs.