I was just informed today by Bill Butts, a vocational rehabilitation counselor who I work with that "Arab terrorists" run all of the tobacco shops and some restaurants in the Twin Cities Metropolitan Region. Bill Butts has a big heart, happy hands, an eye for the ladies, and a beard like Billy goat. This dialogue shows how difficult it can be to remain politically correct in this profession.
"Oh Mr. Butts, I just went in to Midway Tobacco to see if they had any jobs available for my peeps."
"What? No, don't go looking for jobs in those places. They only hire Arabs."
"Yes, they usually are family run. I'm going to forget about it."
"Yeah, a buddy of mine told me that the terrorists run those places, only Arab terrorists. I think our government knows about it. Don't bother with that."
"Well, there are a lot of family operated business in the Twin Cities. I know that."
"Terrorists! Arab terrrorists!"
"Yes, many Arab families do appear to have enterprenurial endeavors."
"Terror-error, 'errorists! Perror, whereor, barrorists! Terrorists!"
"Right, Mr. Butts. Say sir, did you know a lot of people say I look like a terrorist? They say I look Saudi Eastern or Iraniarian."
"Never son! Never! I would not have believed it never for a...never! Boy! Stay. Away. Just stay away from those places. They keep hookhas for pets!"
"Yes Mr. Butts."
Friday, March 28, 2008
Skin Tag! You're It!
How To Play Skin Tag For A Tag-Tastic Time!
1. Yell, "I hate my fucking job!"
2. Lift up your shirt and reveal your skin tag!
3. Next person: Hey, you're "it!"
4. Grow a new skin tag.
5. Find people to show it off it to.
5.5 Remove your skin tag with a goodly sharp object.
5.6 Eat your skin tag.
6. You'll say, "Skin tagging is so easy! I can't believe I didn't do this before!"
1. Yell, "I hate my fucking job!"
2. Lift up your shirt and reveal your skin tag!
3. Next person: Hey, you're "it!"
4. Grow a new skin tag.
5. Find people to show it off it to.
5.5 Remove your skin tag with a goodly sharp object.
5.6 Eat your skin tag.
6. You'll say, "Skin tagging is so easy! I can't believe I didn't do this before!"
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
MEMO: LBSL
Hey Peeps,
I have arranged for an in-house seminar on the use of LBSL. The trainer is Mary Lou Browntrout and she has a Ph.D in Non-Verbal Interpersonal Proxemics from MIT. She works with United Signature Select Services and comes highly recommended. For those of you who don't know, LBSL is an emerging form of communication that utilizes calming words and motions in order to facilitate empathy and understanding among people. It is based upon a system that was derived from a program that was derived from Tai Chi and adapted for use with people who have anxiety and pre-morbid cognitive image processing maladaptive dysfunction. Mary Lou assured me that we will cover pedagogy, methodology, chronology, ontology, psychology, and techniques including The Wave, the Slow Wave, the Sweep, Half-Sweep and when to use or not use "little spinners" along with deescalatory verbal techniques refered to as "patroning." These techniques often incorporate adding "ly" to the end of words to effect a more empathic dialogue. According to research done by Dr. Browntrout, these seemingly simple methods trigger certain neurtronic receptors in the hippacampus that cause the release of calming neurotransmitters such as monooxidase inhibitors. The training is free.
I have arranged for an in-house seminar on the use of LBSL. The trainer is Mary Lou Browntrout and she has a Ph.D in Non-Verbal Interpersonal Proxemics from MIT. She works with United Signature Select Services and comes highly recommended. For those of you who don't know, LBSL is an emerging form of communication that utilizes calming words and motions in order to facilitate empathy and understanding among people. It is based upon a system that was derived from a program that was derived from Tai Chi and adapted for use with people who have anxiety and pre-morbid cognitive image processing maladaptive dysfunction. Mary Lou assured me that we will cover pedagogy, methodology, chronology, ontology, psychology, and techniques including The Wave, the Slow Wave, the Sweep, Half-Sweep and when to use or not use "little spinners" along with deescalatory verbal techniques refered to as "patroning." These techniques often incorporate adding "ly" to the end of words to effect a more empathic dialogue. According to research done by Dr. Browntrout, these seemingly simple methods trigger certain neurtronic receptors in the hippacampus that cause the release of calming neurotransmitters such as monooxidase inhibitors. The training is free.
JOB LEAD: JUMP ROPE INSTRUCTOR FOR YOUTH
I found the following job lead whilst looking for jobs for my clients.
JUMP ROPE INSTRUCTOR FOR YOUTH:
Minimum Requirements:
1. Is courteous, sincere, respecful, well intentioned and competent in all dealings with jump ropers and jump rope-ees.
2. Must be 18 years of age.
3. Highschool diploma or equivolent.
4. One year jump roping experience
5. Valid driver's license
6. CPR certified
7. knowledge of different types of jump ropes, roping games, techniques and methodologies
$10/ hour to start.
JUMP ROPE INSTRUCTOR FOR YOUTH:
Minimum Requirements:
1. Is courteous, sincere, respecful, well intentioned and competent in all dealings with jump ropers and jump rope-ees.
2. Must be 18 years of age.
3. Highschool diploma or equivolent.
4. One year jump roping experience
5. Valid driver's license
6. CPR certified
7. knowledge of different types of jump ropes, roping games, techniques and methodologies
$10/ hour to start.
How To Ask Your Fellow Social Services Professional Out On A Date!
Dating protocol works a little differently between inter-agency professionals in the wide world of social services.
1. Begin by aknowledging an Illinois sports teams of your choice.
2. Note a point of mutual commonality.
3. Inquire about current relationship status.
4. Declare that you sleep with your parents.
5. Repeat #4.
EXAMPLE:
"Hi. I love the Bears. We work with the same client. Are you single? I sleep with my parents. Did I mention I sleep with my parents? Will you date me? Thank you."
1. Begin by aknowledging an Illinois sports teams of your choice.
2. Note a point of mutual commonality.
3. Inquire about current relationship status.
4. Declare that you sleep with your parents.
5. Repeat #4.
EXAMPLE:
"Hi. I love the Bears. We work with the same client. Are you single? I sleep with my parents. Did I mention I sleep with my parents? Will you date me? Thank you."
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